On listening and kindness
For some time, I thought it was ironic, how, I was a therapist, and yet, I didn’t have anyone who satisfactorily could do “talk therapy” on me. I mean, living out here in the province, I could not really find a supervisor type of person who would help me along with how I processed myself and things that were going on in my life. There has to be a considerable amount of effort (a.k.a. travelling) before I get to talk to my colleagues or peers (or supervisor).
It’s not that they don’t have time, but it’s mostly because they all have their own lives to take care of (and not enough training on how to do so).
I am at a loss. In recent times, I have had some distressing personal issues to deal with, however, I never really got to talk to anyone about it. Mainly, it was just a lot of rumination, some writing, and then the development of rationalization and anticipation maneuvers, which can’t have all been good.
My biggest annoyance is when you’re trying to be vulnerable… you’re in a situation where even telling the story is hard, but you also have to deal with the person you’re telling it to giving you a smart alecky retort…or a totally moronic and unfeeling statement, which leaves you feeling worse than you actually feel.
If you’ve ever been in an emotionally distressing situation, you would sometimes notice that talking about it really helps, but only if you felt safe enough to say what you wanted to say, and feel that you won’t be judged for it.
Listening is not hard to do, actually, it is merely a basic kindness we offer to people who need to tell their stories.
(And no, it is not always about YOU.)
(Also, I’ve filled notebooks full of musings and self-awareness…I need “processing” this time.)
Also, just a note…I posted something on facebook, and I was amused at how my experiment proved right. I wrote about the freedom of speech, but everyone thought I was talking about politics. Actually…I just wanted to say something about how I was not free to say things I wanted to say…personal problems mostly! It figures…everything, and I do mean everything, has the potential to be “colored” by things.