“walking on sunshine”

Just when you think life’s a little bit heavy, an angel of an incredibly upbeat and positive song comes up on your spotify work playlist.

“I’m walking on Sunshine…”, crooned on the radio, and their soft voices and the guitar strums really got my attention. It was supposed to be just background music so I could work on my papers, but the “twinkly” opening bars were very catchy.

To be perfectly honest, it had been a very heavy day at work…talking to those who had terminal illness made me think of my own mortality and what little time I have (or we all have) on this earth. Two people talked of cancer, and how they knew that there wasn’t a lot they could do, but wait…and while doing that, be positive in their waiting.

Oftentimes, we make the mistake of taking too long…and waiting for too long, for something…or someone,  that we might never be with. Time is precious…it is the very essence of life, for once it goes through the sieve, it is gone forever.

——————

(“And I don’t want to spend my whole life, just waiting for you…”) – excerpt of the lyrics

——————

The beauty of this song, is it its simple and elegant harmonies, and simple wish. It is a reminder of that happy, giddy feeling of anticipation, for a loved one, which happens to be one of the happiest pleasures in life. And if things aren’t happy now, then they eventually will be.

So, alright, this post doesn’t make much sense, but I do love this song. Just what I needed to pick me up. 🙂

 

 

 

 

Photo: Lovers at Sunrise, Siargao May 2017


Lovers at Sunrise, Siargao, May 12, 2017.

One time, a friend of mine asked me, “How do you find these people (i.e. Lovers) to photograph?” I answered, “I don’t know, they just happen to be there most of the time…” Anyway, when I was there, we were given leave to go out to a popular resort place in #Siargao, and I was one of the first people out of the van. Walking up the boardwalk, I saw these two wrapped in an embrace, motionless like stone. But they were not stone…far from that. They breathed as one, like a living entity of two hearts, ensconced in each other’s mutual loving presence.

Later in the day, I would hear a reading of Pablo #Neruda’s “Sonnet 27”, and remember distinctly what this embrace would feel like, and how wonderful it was to have been loved, “…as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul… where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.”

There is a beauty to its vulnerability that draws me closer. I don’t think I have to explain myself, but I feel it is necessary to say that although I love the emotions love brings, it is not the idea of it, that drives me to write in such a manner.  🙂

 

Photo: the full moon

The full moon on a sunset plane ride. The Philippines, July 21, 2016.

 When one looks really hard, and is patient enough, one sees colors and light in the way one wants to see it.

I took this photo while in the plane to a city a couple of hours away from where I live in order to attend the conference. Traveling alone, I was able to enjoy my precious few hours of silence and not being bothered by anyone for conversation. (I love my solitude when I want it.)

What I love about this picture is the ethereal quality of the vivid pinkish hues in the sky, in stark contrast to the dark blues and blacks of the ground and the sea below, punctuated by a silvery white full coin of a moon.

Ah, but it was love!

~ S.

 

Cupid wants his arrow back

When I listen to a  song with this cadence, there is a tendency for me to just sit still and stare off into space.

“Lost Stars” is such,and  it  happens to be one of my favorite tracks on the movie, Begin Again. I watched this movie, with a former significant other a year (or two) ago, and I wanted to watch it because of the low-key setting, the simple story line, and the music. Mostly for the music…it was what drew me to watch it in another city.

It starred Keira Knightley, Adam Levine (already a big pop star) and Mark Ruffalo (fresh from his Hulk stint). It was a love story, yes, about how people change and how you eventually have to be true to yourself in the end.

It was a very creative endeavor, and they made music that was unconventional. They made use of great songwriting, acoustic elements, and recorded around New York City. It was my kind of music-making and artistic expression.

In the movie, Keira’s character wrote this song,  Lost Stars as a gift to her boyfriend. She sang it quietly, as a ballad. It was vulnerable and very honest. He took it, but he made it into something that “the audiences loved” and reveled in the way they lost themselves when he used his falsetto.

It was actually the turning point, and the end of what she had always thought. He had promised her that he would perform it as it was meant to be performed in that tender, gentle tone. However, at the end, he forgot himself…and changed it for other people. After that, she was able to finally say goodbye.

I listened to this while I was riding in a public vehicle. This is always best for me, thinking amidst the chaos, being able to detach just so. In that state of semi-detachment, I am able to discern and think about the things that have happened to me recently. In this state, I am neither angry, nor sad, nor frustrated.

I am merely listening to the story, and making it my own.

#

 

Living forever

7b366f1a775aa80209ff8e3f2d839d68

“Letters to A Young Poet”,  is a collection of ten letters written by Bohemian-Austrian poet Rainer Maria Rilke (1875–1926) to Franz Xaver Kappus(1883–1966), a 19-year-old officer cadet at the Theresian Military Academy in Germany.

It is one of my favorite books. I have read it many times through and it has always been timely. Although it was written in 1929, almost a century ago, the lessons and musings gleaned from its pages remain  relevant…

Relevant, to a young woman who has just finished a very long career as a student…or a young woman who was on the brink of a new and scary life adventure…or a woman who wanted to forge out a career for herself. Most especially so for a young woman who had recently had her heart broken (but not quite), and was searching for a stable hold with which to weather out the emotional storm.

(All of these young women, are myself, at certain stages in my life.)

I did not come by reading Rilke by accident. No, it was more different story than that. At the time, I was with a young man, not much younger than myself, who I believe, loved words…

I loved stories, and I coaxed him shyly to tell me one, and on cue, this was the book that was nearest to him. In a voice that soothed my soul, he read to me the first chapter of the book.

It was a letter that talked about why one must write…a topic that was very dear to my heart…

“You are looking outside, and that is what you should most avoid right now. No one can advise or help you – no one. There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write.

This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must”, then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your whole life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse.

Then come close to Nature. Then, as if no one had ever tried before, try to say what you see and feel and love and lose. (Rainer Maria Rilke)

He might not have known it then, but my whole being was absorbed in that moment. That one time when he spoke, his words…Rilke’s words, touched me, and touched my heart. It was an unintentional caress, a balm for my soul. And in that moment, I knew that he, the boy,  would live forever…in my writing, my heart. #